FIRST REWRITE

August 2009.
I’ve sent over the redraft to Jessica and Arif.
In order to make this have any sense, I suppose I’d better give you a one line capsule summary of the film.

The adventures of a guy trying to make his pizza business a success.

Does that make you want to shell out eight quid at your local multiplex? Probably not, but I suck at loglines and I’m trying not to give away all the good stuff as Arif doesn’t want me to blow the whole plot on the Internet. I suppose he is imagining what would happen if Neil Jordan had a blog that said “and then it turns out that the chick in The Crying Game is really a man.”
OK, so have just spoken with Jess and Draft II was not quite the masterful revision that I hoped it was. Arif and Jess suggest that we have a meeting in person to go through everything line by line. She also sends me a scene breakdown which is basically a list of every scene, who is in it, what happens with a handy column for me to justify it’s inclusion. I take some time over this, but in some cases I can see where my arguments will be a tad wobbly.